A very good friend of mine once asked me “why is it hard for you to forgive? You like holding things tight to your chest” and I had a very good laugh because I felt he was being overly dramatic. Fast forward to a few hours later that same day, I remembered our conversation, and I had a long talk with myself and came to the simple conclusion that I forgive but it is almost impossible for me to forget. Now before you start feeling all judgemental ask yourself really how easy it is to forget what someone you hold dear has done to you? It is even harder when you see that person every single day, for instance your roommate, spouse, a parent, a family member, a sibling etc.
You know, the point of forgiveness as I have come to learn is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense. He or she lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
What i have also come to realize is that, we cannot truly forgive of our own free will, we need the help of God to truly forgive and forget, while wishing the said offender well. A passage in the bible readily comes to mind;
“AND WHENEVER YOU STAND PRAYING, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25).
Finally this goes to show that forgiving does not mean you are doing the person a favor, but you are also releasing yourself and making sure that your heavenly father forgives you also, because whether you like it or not, we all have sinned and come short of the glory of God at a point in our lives. So let us fix up and do the needful.
p.s; it has been a couple of years since I last blogged, and boy do I have lots of gist for you. Abeg in the spirit of this I ask for forgiveness, and I promise to do the needful and fix up. Daalu nu.